Skeleton Soup

Barney’s Skeleton Soup

“Take one turkey skeleton, and I mean all, from neckbone to the ankle bone. (Does a turkey have an ankle bone?) Anyhow, all dem bones. Cook under pressure in a quart of water or so for 17 minutes — 10 for sure and the seven is for luck.

“Cook down a bit and then fish out the carcass and pick the meat off. This may seem a bit tedious but there is a reward: when no one is looking, gnaw off the gristle from those joints. It’s good, and it gives you the stamina to continue!

“Add 2 cups defatted broth from the original drippings of roasted turkey — defatted. … Add a small can of tomatoes, diced onion, one half of a medium-sized rutabaga and three to five carrots. Oh, before doing this, bring broth to a boil and add 3 ounces barley, let cook for 20 minutes, then add the vegetables. Keep at low boil for one hour, total time.

“Also put in one bay leaf at the start. Add four pieces of chopped celery the last 20 minutes of cooking, and also a smidgen of celery salt, mustard, poultry seasoning, a bit of oregano, etc. (Believe me, it’s the et cetera that’s important.)

“You’d better add another eight to 10 ounces of turkey meat. This should serve four people.”

Barney concludes: “Skeleton soup is devilish to make; it takes some kind of turkey to do it; most will say it’s for the birds, but who wants to pick a bone with a Scotchman?”